Long ago my happiness was very much determined by external sources. It is through living that way, that I realized all of the people I gave control to never really cared or advocated for me the way I should have for myself. Whether it is within a relationship, a friendship, your job or your trainer, others can only carry us so far before we must find the internal drive to expect more from ourselves. Of course you may think it’s easier to play the blame game than take accountability, but how is that creating any forward motion in your life? Being let down repeatedly and the realization that no one will ever fight for the things I want in my life like I can, gave me the drive to take control over how I obtain my own happiness. I learned to become more independent in my choices, for I would have no one else to blame when things don’t pan out. That is what real happiness comes from. Knowing you had a goal, went after it and succeeded is the ultimate feeling of pride. No one else can do that for you.
I can only offer suggestions or guide you to make the best decisions for your goals and share information, but ultimately, it is on you to do the work. I can’t tell you how many times I have freely given my time and knowledge to others who seemingly wanted to change their lives, only to learn they didn’t do a damn thing I said. It saddens me, not because I spent my time and good faith offering to help them, but that they truly don’t care for themselves enough to do the very things they’ve asked me for. I cannot hold your hand and I cannot do it for you, you need to find the motivation to want to do it for you. Until you are ready, it is not happening and only you can make that decision.
The greatest thing my own disappointments have taught me, are that in placing my control in the hands of others, I am ultimately my most unhappy. Not only was that the typical outcome, it was a very unreliable way to grow into the person I was meant to be. I have never been happier and more assertive in my own life as I am in this moment. I am confident in asking for exactly what I want in life, but that came from making lots of mistakes. I have also accepted that I may not make everyone else happy with the need to do things my way, but that is ok. There is a fine line and sometimes, I just like to put my toe a little bit over it. That will never change…
Make your happiness your choice and chase it for yourself!