Over the past 20 years, I’ve ebbed and flowed so many different directions, it’s amazing my damn head hasn’t popped off. From a young girl out of Soflo, to a married woman moved to the west coast to fend for herself out of the comfort, safety and security of her family, she jumped head first into the unknown. I had no clue what I was in for and it was frightening to say the least. My personality shifted (for the worse) from the fear of the uncertainty and to this day I still relish in how I made it here.
One thing is for certain, I never did it without help. I’ll never tell you it was easy of that things just worked out for a, luck isn’t part of my vocabulary and if you ever mention it to my face, it’s highly likely you’ll get kicked square in the dick. I have a strong aversion to the word “luck” fo various reasons, but it will forever be something I do not identify with.
What is tried and true is hard ass, kicked in the dick daily effort alongside a deep passion for the things that move me into action and that will never coincide with the word luck. From family and friends, to all in between, I’ve been highly argumentative wherever that word has been loosely utilized in reference to anything I’ve accomplished. Here’s why….
In my mind, what others deem as luck is simply the culmination of a vision I’ve had, set forth and driven only by my force and continued effort of my own passion towards said goal/vision. Without that, there was never an outcome to be had, so you want to say luck? Fuck luck homey! I’m solid in that thought and you will never sway me. I can’t accept responsibility of any outcome I didn’t work hard towards, nor am I willing to be the “hitch a ride bitch” I’ve come to see all around me. It both saddens and sickens me to see how pathetic people can be once they realize what you may be able to do for them. Get off your fucking ass people and earn it for yourselves or you know what…it was never yours to begin with. You didn’t earn it and are nothing more than piggybacking off an opportunity provided. You’re a grown ass adult, it’s high time to act like it fucker!
That said, I will continue to exist in my world with support and give credit where it’s due, because I do not exist without the support I was once unwilling to accept, because it made me feel weak. What I’ve come to realize is that until I was willing to ask for and accept assistance, I was never going far.
I’m grateful to have an extremely supportive husband, whom is very successful in his own right. I run a tight ship and employ several people that all assist me in looking organized. I assure you, most days I am not. So, if you ever think someone has it all together and makes it look easy, please know that likely they have help and if not they’re probably driving themselves and their family insane in attempting to be a solo performance artist. From housekeepers, to nannies, to grandparents, bookkeepers, accountants, coaches, videographers, photographers, makeup artists and all else in between, I never walk alone. I hold such gratitude for those that have truly stepped up and make my days easier, allowing me to do the most with my natural gifts.
One thing is for certain, I couldn’t do any of this alone and I’m super grateful for everyone in my corner, because it truly takes a village!