My transformation starts with me…
If you’d told me years ago that I’d now have some of the most uplifting, supportive, kind, loving, powerhouse women in my corner, I’d never have believed you. Far from my past experiences and far from my own comfort zone, I’d simply never allow for that.
Truth is, I’ve never kept many female friendships and haven’t allowed many to get close. I’ve always felt the need to shrink myself to make others more at ease in my presence, as I am very aware of my energy and its impact, especially on those lacking in confidence. Likely my self-deprecating humor was also born from those same feelings. I do have a few, long-time relationships for which I am also grateful, but I’ve always been closed off to making new connections and ultimately feel that has a lot to do with my introverted personality. Now don’t laugh too hard, because I know many will assume I’m being sarcastic, because yeah….I get it, but at the core I’m truly a 9-5 extrovert, with mostly introverted tendencies. I am great at being alone, don’t always play well with others, and can be so highly critical of myself, I occasionally don’t feel worthy of things I know I’ve worked hard for and earned. Still, I’m working on these things as well!
Only recently can I step back and see this so vividly and truly own it. I am unwilling to dim my light any longer, since discovering those who choose to accept me for the most authentic version I’ve ever presented, have ultimately presented themselves to me during this powerful shift. I find it no coincidence. That’s how all of this works. Set intention, do the work, keep grinding without a shadow of a doubt and the good stuff shows up. Rinse, lather, repeat.
I’ve never felt a yearning for the community I now have, rather I’ve fought it off for a long time. I’ve fully embraced it today, but I also know that’s due to the work I’ve put in internally. I can’t imagine my world without it now and I will say it’s the bar by which I set my standards…and yup, it’s high AF. If you can’t step up as I intend to do in a relationship, you can step-off. They’ve given me that confidence and contrast.
As I’ve allowed these 6 incredible women into my heart and have really started doing the tough work on me, I owe my greatest growth to them. The stuff I’ve avoided for years, became something I freely jumped into with less resistance and has shown me such clarity in the process. To think, I was blocking some of the greatest gifts I’ve ever known out of fear, now has my eyes wide open. The enormity of what their presence has added to my world is indescribable. To be wealthy in all things money can’t buy is pretty special in my eyes and to have personally worked towards that because of my own standards is something I’m very proud of.
I’ve never had this and from what I’ve gathered, many of you are also seeking deep rooted, true friendships like this. I think it’s harder to accomplish as an adult and ultimately, it took me damn near 40 years to find such a thing. I also think until I had an open mind about it, it would’ve never had.
Simply being the most authentic version of yourself each day will attract the right ones to you as well. Believe in that! And to my badass soul sisters, ADub, AP, Shuuuuryl, JC, JL & Pamcakes, I hold such gratitude for you all each and every day. Andrea and Amanda, I’m so proud of your vision becoming a reality and the energy felt from #alltherealthings was undeniably powerful!
Grateful to have all of you in my corner, as I now realize I never really let my walls down, but you all were so willing to climb and you betches are in great shape! You make me better every damn day and I love you sweet souls endlessly.