As I approach my next show in New York, I realize my mind has really had to sharpen and focus much harder. There are days I don’t want to do this anymore and I question myself and my goals. Being the strong willed girl that I am, this really freaks me out. Many of life’s daily events add stress that builds up and eventually can have a serious impact on how you view things that you once thought were important to you. I don’t care how strong you pride yourself on being. Accepting this has made some of these feelings easier for me to grasp.
Always coming back full circle, I am ever grateful to those around me that know how badly I want this. They help to push me when I struggle to push myself. Those of us that love to inspire others often need the most inspiration of all. Without a strong core of people surrounding me, a strong spiritual side and an undying passion for my sport, I could easily find myself struggling to keep my head above water. Wanting to show strength to others and inspire motivation can be down right exhausting. Am I at the end of my rope….HELL NO! Have I thought about it, I am human and not afraid to admit there will always be small cracks in my own drive, but nothing I can’t push hard to get beyond. That is where I’m at today.
Because of an extremely supportive husband and a very special friend, I keep truckin even when I want to give up. It’s because of these special people in my life and their own understanding for my passion that I am lifted up and gently pushed back on track. We all suffer weak moments, it’s what we do during these times of need that will determine the outcome. Giving up, giving in, or digging deep to discover your own will was even stronger than you realized.
How can you describe someone so close to you, it’s as if they have a better understanding of you than you have of yourself? It’s no simple feat, possibly an unspoken understanding. I have a tight inner circle and these people are here with me for a reason. Over time, people will flow in and out of your life having left you with multiple different lessons. Hopefully, your eyes remain open to these lessons so you may grow from each experience. These people are not always “good” people. Ultimately, you’ve hopefully taken some small pieces from each of these relationships and evolved as a person. A stronger, more optimistic, spirited person. I have come to let go of things that do not better me as a person. If it causes drama, I would prefer to have no part of it. I have a family and I want to be there for them as much as possible. These are the things that are important to me and anything that can compliment that, is just icing on the cake. Anything that can weaken that simply needs to go.
I have a very special, true friend that loves me for all the good, bad and everything in between. All my quirks and all my flaws…many, there are. She has stood by be through lots of life’s special and not-so special moments. We don’t always see eye to eye, but we always find our way back to each other. Peaks and valleys will not ruin the foundation we’ve built together. In life, we’ve grown as individuals and always remained rooted in our friendship. In the past, we’ve had tremors shake this core, but we’ve held tight to each other, stubborn as we both may be. Always finding a way to forgive and forget.
A true friend doesn’t judge you, but will call you out on your flaws because they care. A true friend may have a busy life, but you always know they are thinking of you in the background. You may not speak daily, but when you do it’s as if no time has passed at all. A true friend always has your back. They may question things you say or do, but ultimately, they believe in you and your decisions and always want the best for you. They may also tell you what an a$$ you were for what you did, but will not forever hold it against you knowing we all make mistakes. Time heals all.
A true friend gets you, plain and simple. Sometimes, this person may get you better than you get yourself. That to me, is a beautiful thing. You need not explain yourself, it’s just an unspoken understanding. They love you for everything you are and all that you are not. I hope you have someone this special in your life. Tell this friend how much you appreciate them today. I can only hope I am half this good of a friend as she is to me.